Your First Tantric Workshop: What to Expect, What to Bring, and How to Prepare

Key takeaways
- Nerves before your first workshop are normal and expected — most men feel them
- You do not need any prior experience with tantra, workshops, or erotic spaces to attend
- The day runs in two phases: a 3-hour morning embodiment workshop, then a consent-led erotic space in the afternoon
- Participation at every stage is fully invitational — you set the pace

Nerves before a first workshop are normal. Most men who attend Erotic Gateway felt them. The question they are almost always asking is some version of: will I be okay?

The short answer is yes. Here is the longer one.

What is Erotic Gateway?

Erotic Gateway is a full-day consent-led erotic workshop for gay and bisexual men in London. It is co-facilitated by Armand Botha, a somatic practitioner trained in Core Energetics and Neo-Tantra, and Sam Cotton, a qualified psychotherapist.

The event runs once a month at Soma Home, 231 Stoke Newington Church Street, N16. The day is sober throughout.

It is not a sex club. It is not a therapy group. It is a structured, facilitated experience with a morning workshop and an afternoon erotic space — and a clear consent framework that runs through the whole day. For a fuller explanation of the difference, see our post This Is Not a Sex Club.

What happens in the morning?

The morning runs for approximately three hours. It is the foundation of the day.

What you will do:

1. Arrive, settle, and meet the other men in the room. Introductions are simple and structured — there is no pressure to disclose more than you want to at this stage.
2. An opening circle with the facilitators, where the day's structure, ground rules, and consent framework are explained clearly.
3. Breathwork practices. These are gentle and guided. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to stop, you stop. There is no pressure.
4. Movement exercises — again, guided and graduated. The aim is to help you arrive more fully in your body.
5. Partner exercises that practice real contact and explicit consent. These are the most unfamiliar for many men and the most useful. They are not erotic — they are relational.
6. A group check-in before the afternoon opens, in which the consent framework for the erotic space is reviewed and men have space to name where they are and what they want.

Most men find the morning the most meaningful part of the day. It is where a lot shifts.

What happens in the afternoon?

After the morning workshop closes — usually after lunch, which is not provided but there are facilities nearby — the erotic space opens.

The afternoon is a consent-led erotic space for gay and bisexual men. Sexual connection can and does occur. The facilitators are present throughout. The same consent principles from the morning apply: everything is invitational, nothing is assumed, you engage at your own pace.

You can:
- Engage with another man or men
- Observe
- take space and rest
- Move between all three as the afternoon develops

There is no expectation that you will participate in any particular way. Many men arrive with a clear sense of what they want. Many arrive uncertain. Both are fine.

The afternoon closes with an integration practice — a brief, facilitated exercise that helps men settle before leaving. This matters more than it sounds.

What should I bring?

• Comfortable clothing you can move in. Layers work well — the morning involves movement and temperatures can shift.
• Water bottle — the venue has water available but bringing your own is good practice.
• Towel if you want one for the afternoon space.
• Anything that helps you feel at ease — a familiar snack for the break, headphones for the journey there if you like to arrive quietly.
• Open hands — this is not a drug or alcohol event. Nothing else is needed.

How should I prepare?

Before the day:
- Get decent sleep the night before if you can. Tiredness makes everything harder.
- Eat something in the morning. Not a heavy meal, but arriving hungry is distracting.
- Read the FAQs on the website if you have practical questions — this page covers most of them.
- If you are particularly nervous, it is worth naming that to yourself. Writing down what specifically you are anxious about can reduce its grip.

On the day:
- Arrive a few minutes early if possible. Arriving late into a room that has already opened adds to anxiety.
- You do not need to perform confidence or enthusiasm. You can arrive as you actually are.

"You will be supported to slow down, tune into your body, and clarify your desires."

After the day:
- Plan for some quiet time. Many men find the day has more effect than they expected and need space to integrate it. A gentle evening — food, a walk, time to yourself — serves this better than plans that require you to be fully social immediately.

What if I feel overwhelmed?

You will not be left to navigate that alone. The psychotherapist who co-facilitates the day, Sam Cotton, is present throughout. If something comes up that you need support with — at any point, in any part of the day — you can speak to a facilitator. Taking space is always an option.

Overwhelming experiences in workshops are uncommon. Unexpected emotion is common and welcome. The two are different.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to be experienced with tantra or workshops?
No. Many men attend Erotic Gateway with no prior experience. The morning workshop is designed to bring everyone to the same starting point regardless of background.

What is the age range of men who attend?
Men attend from their mid-twenties to their sixties and beyond. There is no typical age range. What men tend to have in common is an interest in genuine experience rather than performance.

Is nudity expected in the afternoon?
Nudity is common in the afternoon erotic space but not required. You choose what you are comfortable with throughout the day.

What if I decide partway through that I want to leave?
You can leave at any point. You are not obligated to complete the full day. If you want to leave, you leave.

Ready to attend?

Erotic Gateway runs monthly at Soma Home, Stoke Newington, London. Tickets are £85–95 via Outsavvy. See upcoming dates and book your place →

Last updated: 14 June 2026